Spring Break 2017 - Puu O Hulu Kai Hike

After Monday's beach day I was texting with the mestie (male best friend), Jexi, about how we should do something since he's on leave.  After an hour of indecisiveness it was settled that we would take on the Puu O Hulu Kai hike in Waianae.

Puu O Hulu Kai hike is also known as the Pink Pill Box hike because one of the pill boxes was/is painted pink for breast cancer awareness. 

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If you look online you'll see that there are mixed feelings about the pink pill box.  Some love that it represents strength and hope for those battling breast cancer along with honoring those lost to the disease.  On the other hand, some say that it is disgraceful to paint over the historical bunkers.  My personal opinion is that every pill box I've seen in Hawaii has been graffiti-ed and unless there are plans to remove all graffiti from every bunker then keep it pink.

I'm glad that Jexi looked up the details on where to go because I would have gotten lost.  It's off the main road and the beginning of the trail isn't marked.  It's also not as popular as the other trails so we didn't see a line of hikers walking towards it to guide us.  However, a kind local that was jogging by told us to keep to the left of the trail.  Going right would result in a much longer and steeper route.

So, every time I go on a hike I use the All Trails app.  It helps to ensure that we are staying on the trail and other hikers can give pointers.  All Trails said it was an easy hike.  I want to call shenanigans!  It was a steep hike!  I'm sure that the only reason it's ranked as easy is because the whole trip is less than 2 miles.  Had it been longer it I'm positive it would have been ranked moderate. 

Because the hike was so steep and a tad challenging Monster was being, well a Monster.  She's not much for hiking anyway but the difficulty and the heat made it even more unappealing to her.  The tall grass may have also contributed to her feeling lousy because of asthma.  Even with all her drama the hike was still beautiful and interesting.

When we reached the pillboxes at the top I was a bit confused because there was no pink pillbox.  Upon closer look we could see that the black pill box was previously pink.  You could tell because whoever had done the painting had FAIL taped off so that it showed up in bright pink.

Jexi on top of the previously pink pill box.

 I said earlier that all the pill boxes have graffiti on them.  I wasn't kidding.

This beauty caused Jexi to enter the pillbox and laugh while continuously saying over and over "Hashtag Big Dick Bandit."  As if that weren't enough Jexi's 11 year old son walked up to the penis above Big Dick Bandit and asked, "Why did someone draw hair on balls?  I don't have hair on my balls!"  That made me laugh.  It made me laugh soooooooo hard!

Despite the black pill box and the graffiti on all the others the views were still absolutely beautiful. 

I completely intend to take on this hike again, hopefully soon while the pink paint is still fresh and dicks haven't been graffiti-ed on it.

Spring Break 2017 - Lanikai Beach

To kick off the Monday of Spring Break Monster spent the morning continuously requesting to go to Lanikai Beach.  I told her I would think about it after I tackled some adult responsibilities (because laundry and all that other bullshit can never wait.)  Monster, realized that my adulting could take some time, took matters, and my phone, into her own hands.  She decided to text my bestie, S, telling her to get beached up for Lanikai.  Long story short, adulting didn't happen.

Since Ticklebug got me a paddleboard for Valentine's Day I had been eager to take it out to Lanikai.  The water there is so clear that fish can always be seen, it feels like being inside an aquarium.   The issue with taking my paddleboard out though is it was strung up on the ceiling of our auto port and the task of getting it down is usually Ticklebug's.  To add on to that I had yet to attach it to the bars on the Jeep so that was something else I had to figure out for myself.  

It took the ladder, stepping on the hood of the Jeep (oops), and about a good 30 minutes of trial and error but I got it on!  I'm not gonna lie, I felt like a boss after getting it strapped down.  However, I didn't feel like a boss while driving.  I was so incredibly nervous, constantly worried it was going to fly off and kill S's family, who were driving behind me.

Parking at Lanikai is the worst!  It's all street parking but I was lucky enough (even though I got yelled at by a scary old man) to get something near the beach.  It's not that the paddleboard is heavy to carry, but it's 10 feet long and the wind can make it difficult to control.

The wind caused the water to be somewhat choppy this day.  After getting set up I took the paddleboard out for a solo ride to make sure I could maneuver it easily.  Within minutes of being out I saw a turtle pop it's head out of the water.  There is no other way to explain it but amazing.  I wanted to catch a picture but by the time it clicked in my head to grab my phone the little guy was already going back in the water.

Although the water was choppy it was still easy enough to get around so I took each of the kids out between lunch and swimming.  All the kids did great but Bug is a total beast.  She asked if she could get off to go snorkel and I let her. 

I decided to hop off and join her but then I saw that the bottom of the ocean was completely covered in coral.  Coral is great, it's good for the environment.  Coral however has clusters of holes and I have the stupid fear of holes.  (Yes, it's a thing, look it up!)  I started panicking and went back up.  Because I was so freaked out I was too ambitious with trying to get back on the paddleboard and I flipped it over.  Flipping it over just made me panic more.  Panicking made me swallow more water, making it difficult to yell for Bug, who had swam out much farther than I was comfortable with in the few minutes it took me to freak out and flip over. 

It's so embarrassing when you trying to catch your breath your 11 year old is asking if you're okay.  I'm a disgrace lol. 

The Marine Corp base is relatively close to Lanikai so it's not uncommon to see groups of them together goofing off.  One group decided to plop themselves right in front of S and I and play some kind of football, water, sport, thing.  We both very much enjoyed the view.  Don't judge me!  In Hawaii you constantly see women walking around in thong bikinis I check them out too and I KNOW Ticklebug and everyone else with a penis does too!  

The most challenging part of the day was getting the stupid paddleboard back on the Jeep.  I ended up stepping on the hood of the jeep, again.  Which resulted in my fat ass leaving a dent in it.  That was fun explaining to Ticklebug!  Ooops! 

Bug caught this picture of me.  Yea, I know, I have no booty.

Even with the small, barely noticeable, dent in the Jeep I still think it was a perfect day to kick off Day 1 of Spring Break 2017!