Spring Break 2017 - Puu O Hulu Kai Hike

After Monday's beach day I was texting with the mestie (male best friend), Jexi, about how we should do something since he's on leave.  After an hour of indecisiveness it was settled that we would take on the Puu O Hulu Kai hike in Waianae.

Puu O Hulu Kai hike is also known as the Pink Pill Box hike because one of the pill boxes was/is painted pink for breast cancer awareness. 

via

If you look online you'll see that there are mixed feelings about the pink pill box.  Some love that it represents strength and hope for those battling breast cancer along with honoring those lost to the disease.  On the other hand, some say that it is disgraceful to paint over the historical bunkers.  My personal opinion is that every pill box I've seen in Hawaii has been graffiti-ed and unless there are plans to remove all graffiti from every bunker then keep it pink.

I'm glad that Jexi looked up the details on where to go because I would have gotten lost.  It's off the main road and the beginning of the trail isn't marked.  It's also not as popular as the other trails so we didn't see a line of hikers walking towards it to guide us.  However, a kind local that was jogging by told us to keep to the left of the trail.  Going right would result in a much longer and steeper route.

So, every time I go on a hike I use the All Trails app.  It helps to ensure that we are staying on the trail and other hikers can give pointers.  All Trails said it was an easy hike.  I want to call shenanigans!  It was a steep hike!  I'm sure that the only reason it's ranked as easy is because the whole trip is less than 2 miles.  Had it been longer it I'm positive it would have been ranked moderate. 

Because the hike was so steep and a tad challenging Monster was being, well a Monster.  She's not much for hiking anyway but the difficulty and the heat made it even more unappealing to her.  The tall grass may have also contributed to her feeling lousy because of asthma.  Even with all her drama the hike was still beautiful and interesting.

When we reached the pillboxes at the top I was a bit confused because there was no pink pillbox.  Upon closer look we could see that the black pill box was previously pink.  You could tell because whoever had done the painting had FAIL taped off so that it showed up in bright pink.

Jexi on top of the previously pink pill box.

 I said earlier that all the pill boxes have graffiti on them.  I wasn't kidding.

This beauty caused Jexi to enter the pillbox and laugh while continuously saying over and over "Hashtag Big Dick Bandit."  As if that weren't enough Jexi's 11 year old son walked up to the penis above Big Dick Bandit and asked, "Why did someone draw hair on balls?  I don't have hair on my balls!"  That made me laugh.  It made me laugh soooooooo hard!

Despite the black pill box and the graffiti on all the others the views were still absolutely beautiful. 

I completely intend to take on this hike again, hopefully soon while the pink paint is still fresh and dicks haven't been graffiti-ed on it.

Spring Break 2017 - Lanikai Beach

To kick off the Monday of Spring Break Monster spent the morning continuously requesting to go to Lanikai Beach.  I told her I would think about it after I tackled some adult responsibilities (because laundry and all that other bullshit can never wait.)  Monster, realized that my adulting could take some time, took matters, and my phone, into her own hands.  She decided to text my bestie, S, telling her to get beached up for Lanikai.  Long story short, adulting didn't happen.

Since Ticklebug got me a paddleboard for Valentine's Day I had been eager to take it out to Lanikai.  The water there is so clear that fish can always be seen, it feels like being inside an aquarium.   The issue with taking my paddleboard out though is it was strung up on the ceiling of our auto port and the task of getting it down is usually Ticklebug's.  To add on to that I had yet to attach it to the bars on the Jeep so that was something else I had to figure out for myself.  

It took the ladder, stepping on the hood of the Jeep (oops), and about a good 30 minutes of trial and error but I got it on!  I'm not gonna lie, I felt like a boss after getting it strapped down.  However, I didn't feel like a boss while driving.  I was so incredibly nervous, constantly worried it was going to fly off and kill S's family, who were driving behind me.

Parking at Lanikai is the worst!  It's all street parking but I was lucky enough (even though I got yelled at by a scary old man) to get something near the beach.  It's not that the paddleboard is heavy to carry, but it's 10 feet long and the wind can make it difficult to control.

The wind caused the water to be somewhat choppy this day.  After getting set up I took the paddleboard out for a solo ride to make sure I could maneuver it easily.  Within minutes of being out I saw a turtle pop it's head out of the water.  There is no other way to explain it but amazing.  I wanted to catch a picture but by the time it clicked in my head to grab my phone the little guy was already going back in the water.

Although the water was choppy it was still easy enough to get around so I took each of the kids out between lunch and swimming.  All the kids did great but Bug is a total beast.  She asked if she could get off to go snorkel and I let her. 

I decided to hop off and join her but then I saw that the bottom of the ocean was completely covered in coral.  Coral is great, it's good for the environment.  Coral however has clusters of holes and I have the stupid fear of holes.  (Yes, it's a thing, look it up!)  I started panicking and went back up.  Because I was so freaked out I was too ambitious with trying to get back on the paddleboard and I flipped it over.  Flipping it over just made me panic more.  Panicking made me swallow more water, making it difficult to yell for Bug, who had swam out much farther than I was comfortable with in the few minutes it took me to freak out and flip over. 

It's so embarrassing when you trying to catch your breath your 11 year old is asking if you're okay.  I'm a disgrace lol. 

The Marine Corp base is relatively close to Lanikai so it's not uncommon to see groups of them together goofing off.  One group decided to plop themselves right in front of S and I and play some kind of football, water, sport, thing.  We both very much enjoyed the view.  Don't judge me!  In Hawaii you constantly see women walking around in thong bikinis I check them out too and I KNOW Ticklebug and everyone else with a penis does too!  

The most challenging part of the day was getting the stupid paddleboard back on the Jeep.  I ended up stepping on the hood of the jeep, again.  Which resulted in my fat ass leaving a dent in it.  That was fun explaining to Ticklebug!  Ooops! 

Bug caught this picture of me.  Yea, I know, I have no booty.

Even with the small, barely noticeable, dent in the Jeep I still think it was a perfect day to kick off Day 1 of Spring Break 2017! 

Lanikai Pill Box Hike

The Lanikai Pill Box hike is known for its beautiful view, making it easily one of the top MUST hikes on my list.  I also have some love for history so the fact that the pill boxes were used as military look out points interest me too. 

The drive to find the hike is beautiful but finding parking was more difficult than finding a whore house in a red light district.  Martin Luther King Day had it all crazy, everyone and their mama was trying to hike or go to the beach.  All the street parking was closed and the vehicles that took the risk of parking on the street had tickets on their windshields.  The Honolulu police were not playing. At one point we saw a vehicle attempt to park on the street and as soon as the driver got out a cop car pulled up behind him.  We ended up parking near the Lanikai Monument (which looks like a giant penis) and walking the half mile to the start of the trail.

Totally phallic looking.

The start of the trail is fairly steep, uneven and slippery.  Lots of big steps for everyone. 

Thank God for this ghetto sign or else we would have never found the start of the trail.

Both my girls needed to stop and take breaks frequently because it was so steep.  Poor Zuri took the cake on being pathetic though.  She ended up being carried around in Ticklebug's backpack!

Thankfully the whole trail isn't steep.  A fair amount of the middle is only slightly inclined but still rocky.  Since a majority of the portion of the trail is flat the view can be fully appreciated.

The Mokulua Islands

So, I might be crazy but for a portion of the trail I smelled cilantro.  I asked the family if they smelled it and Ticklebug said he did faintly.  The family behind us smelled it as well and we laughed about how it can induce the craving of tacos. 

Fields of cilantro!

Hiking the highest part of Lanikai is very much like the beginning, it's steep and rocky.  Around this time I didn't get to really focus on enjoying the hike because the girls were, to put it nicely, unhappy.  Bug was was insistent on telling me that she thought she was going to have a heart attack and Monster was flipping out about how she thought we were too high.

When we reached the first pill box Bug, Ticklebug, and I all climbed on top to take pictures.  Monster straight up refused so we had to hop down.  She tried to bolt for the trail to head back but Ticklebug ended up picking her up and carrying to the front of the pill box for pictures.

The second pill box looked to be less than ten minutes away but we decided not to hike it since both my ladies were being bungholes and not wanting to walk any further.  Going down the trail was probably more challenging than going up.  Poor Bug kept slipping and falling. 

I would love to do the hike again with only adults, no kids and no dog.  Maybe just Ticklebug and me or with a group of girlfriends.  That way I can fully enjoy the experience and get to the second pill box.  It would also be nice to spend more time at the Lanikai Beach and perhaps paddleboard to the Mokulua Islands. 

Aloha from the Malasada Mobile

One of my goals while in Hawaii is to eat all the food unique to the islands.  After dinner at S's house this week I shared this goal with her and said that she needed to accompany me on all the trips.  (I have dependency issues, I don't like to be alone lol.)  We were discussing all the places when I brought up Leonard's Bakery.  S asked what was there and before I could answer her husband, B, shouted out "Malasadas!"  We both asked what that was and he said, "Soft pillows of awesome."  Of course boob jokes had to follow for the next few minutes.

**For those that don't know (like S and me) Malasadas are a Portuguese baked treat.  Like a donut without a hole.  Leonard's Bakery is well known for many baked goods but malasadas are one of the more popular ones. **

We looked up Leonard's Bakery online and saw that they have a food truck that is located by the Waikele Outlets, about 20 minutes away from us.  S needed to do some shopping for her Lularoe VIPs so we decided on a whim to just go out and kill two birds with one stone.

The Malasada's Mobile has six different types.  Three are sugared (original, cinnamon, li-hing/sweet and sour) and three are filled (custard, coconut and chocolate).  

After getting 24 total malasadas (because we are freaks with eyes bigger than our stomachs) we put them in the car and went to take care of the shopping.  As we were leaving S said, "Lock the doors!  We have important donuts in the car!"  When we got back in the car it smell soooo good.  Soooo very good!

When we got to S's house we pulled out a plate and began picking malasadas and sampling them. 

We were laughing and compared it the likes of sampling wedding cake lol.  Ticklebug and B kept making fun of us because we would take one bite from each malasada and then the rest would be left on the plate.  I don't know why they were complaining, they swooped in and took pieces from our sampling plate...

To be honest I think that the malasadas were just okay.  They weren't anything life changing.  Maybe it's because we didn't eat them right as we got them.  Ticklebug and I agreed that it was nothing to write home about.  It just made us our favorite donut joint back in Maryland, Arundel Donuts. 

Things I don't understand in Hawaii - Selling of Winter Clothing

On a shopping trip this weekend with some girlfriends I noticed that many stores had big, fat, heavy, jackets for sale.

To make matters even more confusing there were no short sleeve shirts that were being sold in this store either.  We are living on an island.  Why in the world do we need big, fat, heavy, jackets?  I don't get it.  In the two months that we've lived here I've worn jeans once and I was ridiculously hot.

Sunlight during the shopping trip.  It was hot as balls, in November.

 Can someone please explain to me the point of having winter clothing on the island?  Don't say "Maybe it's out for people to purchase when they go back to the mainland."  I considered this, it still doesn't make sense.  How many people are going to purchase big heavy jackets?  It certainly can't be enough to make a profit!  Don't say, "They are on vacation in Hawaii and bought a jacket to take back home" either.  Nope, can't be the case.  Everything in Hawaii is more expensive, if you did that.  You're dumb.  Sorry, not sorry.

That's it.  I have nothing really relevant to say.  I just wanted to share my confusion. :) Happy Monday!

Military Housing

It was an unspoken agreement between Ticklebug and I that we would live in base housing while we were stationed in Hawaii. In the three years we've been together this will be the third time we've used base housing.  I'm just going to be a brat and say that this is the worst military housing we've ever been in.

The layout is awful.  It would be fine if the bathroom wasn't randomly put in the middle of the downstairs.  It makes the downstairs like a circle.  If the bathroom had been put in a corner then it could have been a somewhat open concept. 

All the toilets have issues.  Downstairs to make a complete flush you have to push down on the handle twice.  For all the toilets if you don't lift up the handle the toilet continues to run.  If I were a jerk I would just leave it running to say a big "eff you" to housing, since we don't pay a water bill, but I sadly care about the environment.  I have to constantly tell everyone (including my husband) to make sure the handle is down. 

Thankfully, there are things that I'm able to fix up.  For instance a nasty cream tone was the standard color throughout the house.  It gave off a really dreary feeling.  I fixed that thee night before we got our household goods.

1. Is our entry wall.  The color is a pretty blue.
2. The color on the right is more of a white/blue/gray tint.
3. Blue cocktails are what motivated me to get the painting done in just a few hours.  Since we didn't have our household goods I improvised and used a coffee cup. 

The kitchen has/had a random open empty nook.  It may have once been for a refrigerator, but yea, it's nothing now.  Since storage is nonexistent we converted it into a pantry (there isn't even a pantry!).

So glad Ticklebug took care of this.  It may not be much but at least it's something!

To make it feel more like home I've taken on some small home decorating projects.  I don't decorate so this is a big thing for me.  One of the first things I fixed was the ugly oven back drop.

Just some contact paper from Wal-Mart (yes, there is Wal-Mart in Hawaii.)  I actually fixed the backdrop after the picture was taken.  I extended the paper so that it went past the oven.

The serious lack of storage has forced us to downsize a lot.  We've honestly gotten rid of about 30 bags of things.  The majority of things are random times, old clothes, and bedding.  There is just no room.  It was a little heartbreaking to let go a few things because I'm a sentimental fool (maybe a little bit of a hoarder) but it was done.  I'm expecting around ten more bags to go before I'm completely satisfied. 

Even though I'm complaining hard core about this house I will have to admit that it's worth being here because of the awesome school the girls get to go to.  The teachers have been willing to work with them and give them extra attention to catch up.  Also, I'm willing to make some sacrifices to live in paradise. :) I hope to be spending a lot of time exploring, adventuring, and having so much fun that I will just be happy to have a home to come home to. :) <3 

Coffee Festival at the Kakaako Farmer's Market

Saturday morning Ticklebug, S, the little ladies and I woke up at the butt crack of dawn venture to the Kakaako Farmer's Market in downtown Honolulu to attend the 3rd annual Hawaiian Coffee Festival.

The festival consisted of around ten different coffee vendors, tucked between two buildings and covered with a tent (possibly due to the rain).  All the vendors had coffee related products that were for sale but sadly not all provided samples.  I personally don't understand why coffee vendors wouldn't provide coffee samples at a coffee festival.  It would have been such an easy way to promote products.

Providing samples for a dollar would have at least enticed people to be more interested, especially if there is something different about the coffee.  For example, the Kakako Kitchen table charged a dollar to test their coffee. 

We were all very willing to pay to try this unique little shot of happiness.  The cold shot of coffee was infused with nitrogen and gives the feeling of being jolted awake.  A feeling that I gladly welcomed at 9am.

One vendor didn't provide drinking coffee samples but had a table set up for people to test their soaps and scrubs.  I appreciated this because it gave something for my ladies to try out.  They thought it was fun but weren't thrilled to smell like coffee.

The festival ran from 8 - 12 with a guest chef providing samples that contained coffee as an ingredient every hour.  We were there for the first hour with Chef Bob McGee and whatever pork thing he made was delicious and so pretty.  S and I were going through the line and I told her, "I don't think I've ever seen meat presented so pretty."  Chef McGee got a laugh out of that. 

Although I wasn't thrilled with the festival I did enjoy walking around the farmer's market.  It was neat to see all the local food and items that are produced on the island. 

These little mermaid dolls were totally adorable!  The woman that makes them runs has her own doll shop.  Adorable!

I don't know if I'll return for the coffee festival next year, but I do think that I'll be returning for the market itself.  What better way to support local development than to eat locally. :)