Spring Break 2017 - Lanikai Beach

To kick off the Monday of Spring Break Monster spent the morning continuously requesting to go to Lanikai Beach.  I told her I would think about it after I tackled some adult responsibilities (because laundry and all that other bullshit can never wait.)  Monster, realized that my adulting could take some time, took matters, and my phone, into her own hands.  She decided to text my bestie, S, telling her to get beached up for Lanikai.  Long story short, adulting didn't happen.

Since Ticklebug got me a paddleboard for Valentine's Day I had been eager to take it out to Lanikai.  The water there is so clear that fish can always be seen, it feels like being inside an aquarium.   The issue with taking my paddleboard out though is it was strung up on the ceiling of our auto port and the task of getting it down is usually Ticklebug's.  To add on to that I had yet to attach it to the bars on the Jeep so that was something else I had to figure out for myself.  

It took the ladder, stepping on the hood of the Jeep (oops), and about a good 30 minutes of trial and error but I got it on!  I'm not gonna lie, I felt like a boss after getting it strapped down.  However, I didn't feel like a boss while driving.  I was so incredibly nervous, constantly worried it was going to fly off and kill S's family, who were driving behind me.

Parking at Lanikai is the worst!  It's all street parking but I was lucky enough (even though I got yelled at by a scary old man) to get something near the beach.  It's not that the paddleboard is heavy to carry, but it's 10 feet long and the wind can make it difficult to control.

The wind caused the water to be somewhat choppy this day.  After getting set up I took the paddleboard out for a solo ride to make sure I could maneuver it easily.  Within minutes of being out I saw a turtle pop it's head out of the water.  There is no other way to explain it but amazing.  I wanted to catch a picture but by the time it clicked in my head to grab my phone the little guy was already going back in the water.

Although the water was choppy it was still easy enough to get around so I took each of the kids out between lunch and swimming.  All the kids did great but Bug is a total beast.  She asked if she could get off to go snorkel and I let her. 

I decided to hop off and join her but then I saw that the bottom of the ocean was completely covered in coral.  Coral is great, it's good for the environment.  Coral however has clusters of holes and I have the stupid fear of holes.  (Yes, it's a thing, look it up!)  I started panicking and went back up.  Because I was so freaked out I was too ambitious with trying to get back on the paddleboard and I flipped it over.  Flipping it over just made me panic more.  Panicking made me swallow more water, making it difficult to yell for Bug, who had swam out much farther than I was comfortable with in the few minutes it took me to freak out and flip over. 

It's so embarrassing when you trying to catch your breath your 11 year old is asking if you're okay.  I'm a disgrace lol. 

The Marine Corp base is relatively close to Lanikai so it's not uncommon to see groups of them together goofing off.  One group decided to plop themselves right in front of S and I and play some kind of football, water, sport, thing.  We both very much enjoyed the view.  Don't judge me!  In Hawaii you constantly see women walking around in thong bikinis I check them out too and I KNOW Ticklebug and everyone else with a penis does too!  

The most challenging part of the day was getting the stupid paddleboard back on the Jeep.  I ended up stepping on the hood of the jeep, again.  Which resulted in my fat ass leaving a dent in it.  That was fun explaining to Ticklebug!  Ooops! 

Bug caught this picture of me.  Yea, I know, I have no booty.

Even with the small, barely noticeable, dent in the Jeep I still think it was a perfect day to kick off Day 1 of Spring Break 2017! 

First time paddleboarding

One of the first times I went to Hickam Beach S and I asked the lifeguard about renting paddleboards.  He inquired on if we had paddleboarded before and we said no.  He chuckled and said that he strongly recommended lessons before going out.  S and I thought nothing of it, how hard could it be, right?  A week later (when it was a different lifeguard) Ticklebug, S, and I went and rented the paddleboards.

Sadly, I didn't get any pictures of the event.  I keep going back and forth on if I want a waterproof camera or a waterproof case for my phone.  To make up for the lack of actual pictures I shall grace everyone with my paint drawings.  Don't worry, they are awesome.
  
The lifeguard told us that we could paddleboard to the left as close to the Honolulu Airport flight line as we liked, just make sure we don't go to the right towards Ahua Reef.  We thought we would be safe just going out straight.  We were wrong.  

Maneuvering the paddleboard was more challenging than we anticipated. S had never done any type of paddling before so she was pretty much learning on the spot.  At least she had an excuse though.  I had paddled before and would still go the opposite direction.  Of course Ticklebug got the hang of it the quickest.  

S and I had gotten the hang of paddling boarding on our knees (how you start off) so Ticklebug encouraged us to try it standing up, like him.  He fell a few times so S and I were both timid at trying it. We both tried it once but were too scared and went back to our knees.  Coming back down S couldn't manage the direction of her board at all.  I paddled over to her to try and help.  However, before I could get to her another paddleboarder started laughing.  I yelled to him, "Stop judging us!"  Then he pointed out that S was backwards on her board.  As in she was facing the tail end of it. 

That little fin means it's the back of the board.

When she had come down from standing she turned the wrong way.  LOL!  I was laughing so hard I almost fell off my board. 

In our attempts to get control of the paddleboard we had drifted out towards the right.  We heard over the loud speaker "Paddleboarders, you are too far to the right.  Please move to the left."  Ticklebug came over to help us and at one point we decided it would be easier if he just pulled S along behind him. 

Ticklebug pulling S by his ankle leash thingie.

 Again, I couldn't stop laughing and was doing it so hard that I almost lost my balance on the board.

We had gotten so far out that the waves were much higher and harder.  I started to panic at this point thinking things like, "There are sharks in this water.  They are going to come out and eat me." and "These waves are going to knock me over, I'm going to get knocked over and hit my head on the board.  Then a shark is going to eat me."  We must have looked pretty ridiculous because the rescue boat came out and asked us if we needed a ride back.  S was quick to jump in and I followed right after her.  Ticklebug had too much pride and said he would be paddling back. 

While we were in the boat the rescue lifeguard told us that we were his second rescue of the day and that a group before us had drifted towards the reef as well. We also heard the lifeguard that rented to us say over the radio, "I told them to stay to the left?  Why didn't they listen?"  Oops!

We all made it back to the beach safe and sound.  S and I hanging our heads a little bit in embarrassment lol.  Even though we had to be rescued we still have every intention to attempt paddleboarding again. 

Special thanks to S for letting me tell everyone how much I laughed at her.  Love you, S!